The word aspiration is defined not just as an ambition, but as a synonym for breath. It feels like that for me. If I am not straining to reach some undefined potential then I am inevitably depressed and lethargic. Honestly, if I don't feel like I am growing, I rarely do more than get out of bed. I suspect it's not the healthiest behavior, but I truly am happiest when I am struggling to achieve a goal.

I was inspired by the 101 things to do in 1001 days project, and decided to use the four months I have before starting medical school to complete some long-standing goals, and also to start some very good habits. As I will be in medical school for most of this period, I have not created many time-intensive or life-changing goals. Instead, these are small ways that I can live better mentally, physically and spiritually. They are efforts to experience facets of life I don't normally expose myself to and focus my energy on the things that I love, but neglect.

Most of the other lists on the site are done by relatively young people (teenagers mostly). I suppose the project can be seen as immature and silly, but most of our routines are silly (think how much time we spend just sitting in traffic). It's sad to me that the culture of experimentation and creative exploration of the world is limited to the young. I, as a 32 year-old man, am excited about testing the bounds of my own comfort and report on the results in a (hopefully) mature manner.

• Earn $1000 in online poker. This is actually a very achievable goal as I earned more than $2200 in 2008 alone. The real risk here is that I will lose my taste for poker and stop playing, which has happened in the past. Additionally I have issues with the harm implicit in the game. For me to win someone else *has* to lose. And the only way the game is played seriously is if real money at stake. Without real stakes, people don't make honest decisions and it's only when the decisions are real that the game becomes something beautiful. The main focus for this goal is my appreciation and respect for the elegance of the game. I'd like to improve my understanding of it and the way I play it.
• take 100 photographs I'm proud of. Publish them on my photo blog. I did a lot of amateur photography when I lived in Portland and I really loved it. I'd like to integrate photography into my life again. I will publish the photos on my old photo log.
• Call my mother and father at least once every two weeks. I just don't talk to them enough.
• Meditate at least once a day, every day for 10 minutes. This is an ambitious goal! Still, if I make the commitment it should be relatively straightforward.
• Run three days a week. My goals here are actually much more ambitious. I would like to run six days a week, increasing the time weekly from the thirty minutes I run in each session currently to 60 minutes. We'll have to see how my knees hold up. I might switch it to elliptical or swimming if injury forces me to.
• eat raw for one month. This will likely wait until I am in medical school and recieving a weekly supply of fresh vegetables. Mostly I want to see how my body will respond to a completely uncooked, natural diet.
• Sleep under the stars, at least once.
• learn 20 new recipes. I cooked a lot in Portland. Another thing I miss.
  1. granola
  2. baked mac and cheese
• see a live opera.
  on 3/25/09 I saw Das Rheingold
• read 50 books. For this goal, listening to audio books will be acceptable. However medical textbooks and books associated with med school are not acceptable. The point is to integrate joyful, interesting reading into my daily life. This might be very challenging when med school starts and time becomes precious.
• learn basic Spanish. In the next four months I am going to work my way through the rosetta stone Spanish Language program. In medical school there are also a great many resources for helping students learn spanish. That said Languages are extremely difficult for me, so this is a very challenging goal.
• Learn basic guitar. I've tried several times before. Like foreign languages my mind seems to have real trouble with music. Still, it's something I want and I'm going to focus time on it so that I'll at least be able to play a few songs well.
• Find a geocache. I'd like to do this soon after moving to explore my new environment. I don't even own a gps, but I'll figure something out.
• Buy an original piece of art. Not as easy as it sounds. I want my living space to be truly relaxing and reflective. I want to buy a piece of original art that encompasses not only that, but my own unique perspective as well.
• volunteer 100 hours of time to those less fortunate. Depending on my duties in med school, this might be fulfilled in a medical capacity, but I would Ideally like to work with the homeless.
• write 50 longhand letters to the people I care about. While I was living in the monastery, I used my time to write old fashioned letters instead of email. I found it much more rewarding in that you are not only telling the recipient the information they will read, but that you care enough about them to take time in composing the message.
• Attend at least 25 religious services. Again, I am aiming low on this one. Ideally I'll be able to attend religious services every week for the duration of the goal period but I'm apprehensive about finding a decent Zen Buddhist temple near my medical school, so I'm playing it safe.
  1. 4/12/09 - Easter mass
• Make at least 200 blog posts. I don't write enough.
• Redesign my website, including this page! It's time for a change.
• Medical donations: I would like to donate blood at least 5 times during this period. Additionally, I would like to make sure that my body/organs are donated to the medical school I attend after I die.
• Donate $25 a month to Modestneeds.com. Additionally, donate another $25 for every goal I do not complete by the end of this period. Modest needs is one of the finest charities I have ever encountered. It's worth your time to check them out.
• Participate in Community Supported Agriculture. More of the Portland theme. I really enjoyed having a steady influx of fresh vegetables, but even more than that I liked knowing who was growing my food and how they were growing it. Recently reading the Omnivore's Dilema only underscored the importance of supporting the good guys of agriculture.
• take a walk outside at least once a day (even in winter). Wherever I go to med school, I'm going to make an effort to see if I can find housing that will allow me to walk to class. Even if that's impossible I'm going to try to integrate a walk into my day somehow. Lily Tomlin said that no matter who wins the Rat Race, they are still a rat. Well, getting out of the hole is a good way to avoid that, I think.
• Visit ten museums, write about them.
• Take a "fun" class (online is okay). The point is to explore a subject I am interested in in-depth. There are two online classes I am looking at. I may not participate in writing papers and getting a grade, but I intend to do all the reading and listen to all the lectures and blog about it.
• fast for a day (at least three times). I often do this at random points anyway. I don't do it for expressly religious reasons. I suppose it's an effort to gain perspective. Food is so plentiful in America, it's hard to know what it's really like to be hungry.
• bake goodies and give them away (5 times). When feeling down one of the best ways I've found to lift my spirits is to make something sweet for others.
• Switch to organic/free trade hygiene products. Much like the CSA goal, I intend to take more personal responsibility for the hygiene and cleaning products I buy. The expense might be higher in terms of money, but lower in terms of ecology and morality.
• record/manage expenses on quicken. want to be smarter about how I spend my money. The first step in that process is to know where all my money goes so I need to start taking meticulous data on that.
• attempt to tell a story at five moth events. So far I've told one story at a Moth event. It was a real blast and i'd like to do more.
  1. 3/10/09, didn't get selected
• Write financial, spiritual and physical mission statements. In a way this is like setting goals for goals. I think I'll be much more likely to succeed in improving myself if I know why I want to achieve and not just what.
• see ten live baseball games. I'm going to try to see a game weekly while I am living in the nyc area. Go Mets!
• get at least three hour long massages. I have a hard time pampering myself so this is a goal to allow me to just enjoy a relaxing time.
  
  1. 3/21/09 - Dad came to visit new york and we each had hour-long massages. I'm not sure what school of massage these girls work at, but it was pretty painful at times! Not for my dad though...he fell asleep and started snoring during his.
• get a manicure/pedicure. Much like the last goal. I actually had a coupon for a free manicure so I've had one once. It's kinda girly, but hey, life is too short to not have a little luxury.
• visit the baseball hall of fame. Never been. want to go.
• visit a civil war battlefield. I'm most interested in Gettysburg, but Shiloh and Antitum would be cool too.
• watch (and blog about) 100 films. I enjoy watching (and thinking) about film. I often have some peculiar insights, so I think it'd be fun to write about them.
  1. Peaceful Warrior
  2. The Fall
  3. Watchmen
  4. Michael Clayton
  5. The Bourne Ultimatum
• learn ten origami designs. I think it'd be fun to know for kids, but also there is a lot of beauty in the art.
• visit a psychic. I'm a bit skeptical, to be honest, but it could be fun interesting and most of all a learning experience.
• live and work in a foreign country. This will most likely have to be a part of medical school training, but it's something I want to do.
• sing a karaoke song. I'm a terrible singer, but I figure if I drink enough, I can get through anything.
• try twenty new resturaunts and write about them.
• go to a wine tasting. I need to learn more about wine since I love it so much.
• go on a picnic. I think the last time I was on a picnic was in college. I should fix that.
• play mini-golf. Yet again, something that I haven't done in much too long a time.
• visit a zoo. I'm starting to see a pattern here.
• See the neo-futurists at least four times. I'd like to see them at least once a month while I'm still living in nyc.
  1. 3/7/09 - Saw them with Sondra, Angela and Anna. I participated in one act called "The World's Most Uncomfortable first kiss." I stood at one end of the stage while at the other end, a neo-futurist (a female), pursed her lips. Then she took some breath spray from her fanny pack and walked a little closer and pursed them again. Then she took a small toothbrush, and toothpaste out of the fanny pack and brushed her teeth and moved closer. Then used mouthwash. I think there might have been other steps, but I was quite nervous so I'm not sure. Finally when she was about 6 feet away someone in the audience shouted "kiss her!" so I rush up, smooched her, then ran off the stage. Good times. Angela and Anna also participated in acts.
  2. 4/10/09 - Saw them with Sondra. Kind of an off night. The highlights were Grapes of Wrath (a player angrily chucking grapes at the audience), and Waiting for Sarkozy which was a fun sendup of Waiting for Godot.
• go to at least five live poetry readings
• see a burlesque show
• run at least five 5k runs
• see a broadway show
• make a snowman
• see a cirque de Soliel show
• send flowers to someone anonymously. Sometimes it's just nice to get flowers, not for any agenda.
• write a letter to someone whose work you respect and admire.
• host a dinner party
• legally change my name. It's current state is annoying and I need to fix it.
• get my weight below 180. Currently I'm at 193. I actually think somewhere around 175 is ideal. For this goal I will be charting my weight at least three times a week and keeping a graph that i will update monthly.
• Go to a Fireworks show
• play ten games of scrabble. Fun game, worth improving, much like poker.
• Take a bubble bath. I don't even have a bathtub, so this might be challenging.
• Get a new driver's license. The one I have is nearly 10 years old. This will happen when I move to med school.
• See a Shakespeare play live. I'm thinking a tragedy like Othello or Hamlet, but a good production of a Midsummer Night's dream would be cool too.
• memorize three poems I love.
• get an annual physical examination (once I get health insurance), and see a dentist every six months.
• go on a stargazing event.
• Listen to the Obama weekly radio address. This can be found through itunes.
• see a live showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show (A midnight halloween showing event would be acceptable).
• spend a day at the beach. Much like the massage goal, I'm not very good at just lazing about, especially outside.
• take a multivitamin, daily
• spend an entire day without speaking to others. Might be tough in med school, but I will try to spend an entire day in solitude at least once during the period. This includes email and Instant Messenger
• Ask for 20 book recommendations. I'm always interested in what other people find facinating. It's a great way to expand your own perceptions.
• Put totgether a 1001 piece jigsaw puzzle. This doesn't have to be done alone and, in fact, would ideally be done with others.
• Take a cooking class.
• go on a hiking trip (ideally, hike a mountain).
• make sushi
• become penpals with a U.S. soldier
• teach someone backgammon
• take a dancing lesson
• watch a session of open court.
• fix bike and ride it this summer
• go bowling
  4/4/2009 - I bowled a 60. Not great but performance wasn't the point
• write a note of thanks for good customer service
• Regularly (once a quarter) give gifts to Shafer for how awesome he's been about this website.
• create a spreadsheet to help manage student debt. I currently have four outstanding loans, each with different, variable, interest rates. It's only going to get more confusing in med school. I want to create a spreadsheet that will help me manage them and understand the consequences of paying one down over another, etc.
• take a ride in a rollercoaster. Weak carnival rides don't count.
• go ice skating
• go to a music festival
• Have "authentic" fish and chips
  4/14/09 - Went to A Salt and Battery
• go out for high tea
• speak without swearing for one week.
• read a comprehensive book about fashion design
• read a comprehensive book about architecture.
• throw a boardgame party (probably with settlers of cataan, but scrabble will do in a pinch).
• learn a good card trick
• Experience a Russian bathhouse
• explore anime. It's an artform I've seen a bit of but I would like to expand my knowledge of it.
• Attend a Christmas mass or Easter ceremony. I'm not catholic, but most of this country is. Even though I went to a cathlolic high school, I'd like a more mature understanding of how Americans address their spirituality.
• see an event at Radio City Music Hall
• see five theatrical performances (not including the poetry or neofuturists). Things like plays, experimental theater, performance art and dance productions count.
• throw a party to celebrate the completion of this list.